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And still the divorce rate goes higher and higher," says psychologist Gilda Carle, Ph D, associate professor at Mercy College and author of . If you've already figured that part out yourself, take heart.

Psychologists say the key to getting off the dating merry-go-round often requires nothing more than taking time to get to know yourself before you try to get to know someone else.

"We go round and round, and we date and we date some more and we think, yes!

We have finally found the secret to landing that perfect mate.

While core values may form the foundation of who we are, our emotional needs often define the finer points of our relationships.

Psychologist Dennis Sugrue says we must acknowledge those emotional needs before we can find someone who can fill them.

Not coincidentally, these will be the same traits that will serve you best in a romantic partner.Here are five ways to help you do just that: Understanding your core values is at the heart of truly knowing your needs."These are the things about yourself that are not likely to change."Think about relationships you've had -- or currently have -- that bring out the best in you," says psychologist Dennis Lowe, Ph D, founding director of the Center for the Family at Pepperdine University in Los Angeles and a professor of psychology."Think about the relationships in which you have felt you could grow and the ones that left you feeling fulfilled.Not just romantic relationships, but any relationships with family and with friends." Also important: Think about the people who make you feel safe and secure, the people with whom you can be yourself.

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