Imam Khalid Latif is blogging his reflections during the month of Ramadan, featured daily on Huff Post Religion.
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I congratulated him and said I'd be happy to help out.
He said his upbringing was such that he never really had a relationship with a girl before and now, with his wedding coming up, he felt like he was expected to go from having no experience in even talking to a girl to being physically intimate with one.
Those that do get asked tend to not really get answered in a way that takes away confusion. I've found myself asked on many different occasions by young women, "Isn't it haraam (religiously impermissible) for boys and girls who are not (individuals that one cannot marry) to talk to each other? " Usually the woman will follow-up and say, "What do you mean?
" To which I say, "I don't know if you realize it, but I'm a boy." I'll then ask her, along with the audience what the word means and more often than not, most people don't really know, resulting a in a big mess of misunderstanding.
What we need is more people to explain at all levels of development what gender means, and along with it how gender interaction works.
Talk to the people in your community about what it means to them to be son or daughter, a husband or wife, a father or mother, a professional, a student, a divorcee, a widow, a survivor, a leader, and everything in between.He was pretty tall and well put together, but there was a certain anxiety about him.He asked if we could speak in private and when we were out of earshot of most he said he was getting married in a few weeks and needed my help with something.Most of us don't know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like and what processes lead to the development of one.Some of us have come from homes where we didn't have model relationship to learn from.