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Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.

It seems like every day there's a new form of online dating.

Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.

For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.

I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.

When I spoke to him again about it, he did apologise and said he won’t do it again but he then came out with a load of stuff about how unhappy he was in the marriage, that we never spend time together (which is true), but I don’t think it is fair for him to blame me.

Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.

It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.

You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.

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